not all who wander are lost.

Monday, October 29, 2012

ShitFuckedSandy at the Sheraton.

Shitfuck fucking fuck motherfucker shittttttt. That's how I felt when I woke up this morning. I wanted to rebel yell and cry and scream to the universe to cut me a fucking break. Jesus Fucking Christ. A few deep breaths and I resolved to float with the river, instead of trying to push it...cause pushing it wasn't going to get me anywhere.

Mom and I already had reservations at the Sheraton Four Points, next to the airport in Philly, for Sunday night because we had an early flight on Monday morning to San Diego. The hurricane started to make it's presence known on Saturday night and into Sunday morning it wasn't looking too great for the Jersey Shore. We were optimistic and headed to Philly, hoping that our 7am flight on Monday would get us out of dodge before the shit hit the fan. It was a windy drive up to Philly but we made it and got settled into our room. We found out that our 7am flight was cancelled, but we were rescheduled for a 1:30pm flight later in the day. Okay, still optimistic, still hoping for the best. We went out to dinner at the Pub & Kitchen with our friend Suzie and enjoyed a delicious dinner, joking that even if we didn't get out atleast we would enjoy a "staycation" and some fun in Philly.

 We got back to the hotel and decided to post up at the bar, afterall ...we didn't want to think about it, we just wanted to drink about it. Boom. Two rounds and then we found out that our 1:30pm had been cancelled. Still wtih smiles on our faces we decided to just roll with it and make the best of the situation. Another day in Philly wouldn't be so bad...

After dinner we headed back to the hotel so that the driver (that'd be me) could enjoy a cocktail. Dirty Martinis for me and White Russians for mom...we made quick friends with our bartender Laura, and found out from our neighbors at the bar, flight attendants, that our flight was for sure cancelled. We tried to stay positive and enjoy our cocktails despite the bad news.

Well, when I woke up this morning, I couldn't help but to feel sad. A few tears rolled down my cheeks as I allowed myself to feel sorry for myself, but only for a few minutes. Mom and I really needed this trip, like really really needed it. The days are seeming to become more and more challenging and I'm just tired of feeling this overwhelming sadness all.the.fucking.time. Mom and I had a pow-wow and tried to stay positive and come up with a game plan. We had hoped to drive home, but the parkway was unsafe and closed down. Plan B: stay in Philly...well, all the hotels were booked up! Thankfully we have an amazing friend Sharon who works at the AC Sheraton and her connection solidified us a room for another night. Okay, time for breakfast and coffee. Mom started crying first, and then I followed when the song from Dirty Dancing came over the radio (my Dad and I loved to dance to "I've had, the time of my life..." all the time when I was a kid). Fuck it. Fuck that. Fuck this. I am so fucking tired of crying, and this morning I decided that I wasn't going to cry anymore. Atleast not anymore today. I said goodbye to my Mom, put on my workout clothes, and grabbed my ipod - headed for the gym. I made up my own CrossFit WOD, and did a vinyasa flow and Yin series. Sweat is a powerful way to heal, and though I have HATED to work out my whole life, I have really found some peace in the CrossFit workouts (don't tell anybody though! haha).

Cailins Hurricane Sandy Sheraton WOD:

Warm Up: 
A Vinyasa flow, several rounds of Sun Salutations A + B.

Part 1:
1/4 mile "uphill, high intensity" elliptical + 15 pushups + 15 abmats + holding handstand for 15breaths.
repeat 4x (with 1 minute rest between)

Again, a short vinyasa to keep my body and breath moving, and to stretch out the body.

Part 2:
20-15-10-5 of...
Renegade Row (push up stance, wide legs, with weights in your hands. Lift one, then other).
Air squats
and holding Navasana for x amount of breaths (20breaths, 15breaths, etc)

I finished my WOD with a full Yin series (Wide Knee Childs, Sphinx, Saddle, Pigeon) and a headstand.

Rocking out and sweating it out in the beautiful gym at the neighboring hotel, ALoft. "Don't push the river, float with the river." Making the best of a less-than-desirable situation.
After nearly two hours of moving and grooving and sweating and centering I felt a bit better. I just kept repeating to myself "You can't PUSH the river, you have to FLOAT with the river", I guess I'll just have to surrender and float. I arrived back in our room with a smile on my face, and to my surprise, mom was smiling too. She booked us a flight for Thursday evening, so now we will be away from November 1st until November 9th, and until then we are enjoying our Philly "staycation" at the Sheraton. I have carved out a little space to yoga and meditate and read....and I've made friends with all the girls at the front desk, so they hook it up with pool, hot tub, gym and internet connections. I hope that everyone is staying safe in this shitfuckmess that is Sandy. I've been following on facebook and the destruction is insane. Fingers crossed and positivity sent up that everyone is staying warm and healthy.  

I've made myself a little space in the room for reading, meditation, and yoga.

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