Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Shiny Happy People?
Last night my ex-boyfriend informed me that there is the "Blog Cailin"...the one that everyone thinks is charming and friendly and sweet and outgoing. And then there's Cailin, who is irritable and selfish and emotional. Well, as hurt as I was by his accusations - it's true, I am irritable, I'm selfish and I'm emotional. BUT, I'm not just those things - I AM also charming, and friendly and sweet and outgoing. No one is perfect, there is a Yin and a Yang to everything in life - including ourselves. Every day I try to bring some awareness to my life; awareness to my actions and particularly my REactions. It's difficult! Also, I've found that the more overworked I am, the less sleep I get, and the less time I have to work on "Me", the more reactive I am and the more I tend to take out my unhappiness on my support system around me. I try to reign in my irritability, my selfish tendencies and curb my emotional ways. And the "Blog Cailin" that most of you know - well, yes - I am genuine in the positive qualities I possess, and I also have some of the not-so-great qualities which we all have. Unfortunately the people who are closest to me are the ones who see these come out, but that's because it's a safe place - where I can be %110 myself, even if "myself" that day is not so powerful and amazing. SO: awareness. Bring some awareness to you...your actions and your REactions. Be aware of how you handle stressful situations, and how you handle others in reaction to these situations. We need to learn how to put a positive spin on seemingly negative things, but still honor the fact that yes - you are allowed to feel sad, or angry or irritated. It's only human to feel and to react, though we should make a conscious effort not to bombard those closest to us, our safety net, our family, our foundation - with our reactions. Apologies to my closest friends, my family, and my ex-boyfriend for having to endure the brunt of my frustrations and sadness - but thank you for creating a safe place where I can be myself, both the good AND the bad. Every day is a journey, a life lessson - and as I fumble through life I'm learning bits and pieces along the way. So please be patient, I'm still figuring out this crazy, emotional, amazing life.