not all who wander are lost.

Friday, August 27, 2010


All day long I walk around with blinders on. We walk around with blinders on. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's certainly not a good thing and it's a habit that I'm now trying to break. I have blinders on in life, in my relationships, with my body, with my family, with my yoga practice - you name it. Blinders a lot of time for me is making excuses. I see only the good and just pretend that I can't see the bad, I'm blind to it. Afterall, isn't it such a happier existence to just acknowledge and dwell in the positive? YES. At first. But then you wake up one morning with a tweaked back and wonder why. I have found that having these blinders on is a survival mechanism. "He's not really a bad guy, he's a good guy. He loves me". "It's just a small tumor, they have it under control. This isn't too serious". "I'm just going to do Warriors in my yoga practice, not so good at Fire Log so I just won't do it". "I am not gaining any weight, I'm doing just fine". Hello, newsflash - all of this may seem to be behind the blinders, but it just builds and builds and builds. This results in some serious shit: emotional breakdowns, physical illness in the form of colds, fatigue and strained lowerbacks, and overall a mental mindfuck that is not a happy place to exist.

Yesterday morning I woke up and made a promise to myself: Blinders...OFF. No more seeing just what I want to see. No more making excuses. From now on I'm going to see everything for ALL that it is, all the details...the big picture. This awareness will help to bring some balance to my life, and hopefully result in a better physical and mental me. It's not easy to see the things and acknowledge the things that aren't so pleasant, but hey - it's reality.

So people - Blinders Off. Not now, right now.

1 comment:

  1. I know what you mean, but be careful with the big picture. There are a lot of things that are out of our control. I really like your dad's analogy about life being like a river, and it mattering most how you navigate the river. Some things are out of your control, and I think it's good to accept that. Some things have to work themselves out, as tough as that is to admit. I'm not sure if that necessarily conflicts with the concept of "blinders off"-- because yes, "blinders" are bad. But don't confuse "blinders" with plain old optimism, hope, or sometimes even just a way to cope with hard things.

    I'm so sorry about your dad... he and your family are in our thoughts.